rebecca's funeral

so let's make some points on this before i copy rebecca's writing exactly. i killed rebecca, if you remember, a long time ago. so we now are finally holding here funeral. all of the stuff i add in shall be BLUE, cause I'm awesome. be prepared for the horrifying funeral of rebecca and her self adsorbed-ness. *rush to my book bag sitting on the floor and have to dig for the paper all smushed at the bottom* well, blame it on the book rebecca is forcing me to read about an insane asylum. And Rebecca's additions are in GREEN! Then my edits to her edits are in, well pencil for now, but it will be...PURPLE!





Rebecca is...dead! duh duh dun...Remember? (no, we were all to obsorbed in our own problems to notice you were dead :O) Her kidney kidney was stolen and i was to late to save her, so sad! (now she's writing like she's me, except i wouldn't write that shhh...) We all miss her dearly, and we wish she would come back (i don't wanna mess with the way of the world, next thing you know you loose an arm and/or a leg, but you still don't wanna mess with the flow of life but it's me...! sooo...the universe can destroy me, but you can't), but, alas, she is in a better place now (I hope, but knowing her she's still sad in the after life or whatever, cause she would be torturing herself for things that are not her fault.) So now it is up to me, Kristin Monteith (why'ld you have to put my whole name up there?), killer of grammer (HEY! it's true, meanie!), spelling (HEY! again, still true, still being a meanie), and super children (i don't get this one, you defeated super kid and his dog. no, i haven't done that yet. next post: breaking out!!!), to direct Rebecca's funeral (cause i'm a good friend like that, and won't tell mrs. a that she's not paying attention in class and will kill her when she asks me to, shhh...). Here i go...



-The Story of Rebecca's Funeral:


It is a beautiful day - the sun is shinin brightly, and little animals hop and skip happily along, (ugh...) birds are singing cheerfully, and their is a slight breeze to cool all of the guest off in our black, heat absorbing clothes. But then to our deep depression (she changed writing styles? you are sad that i'm dead, happy my coffin is here. that's off topic), Rebecca's coffin arrives!!! It is a deep brown/red mahogony coffin, with intrecate skull designs all over. She must have carved it herself (how would she know to carve that on a coffin that is her exact size? cause i'm good like that, no, you're just a freak like that, but i ♥ u!) because it is so beautiful and she was such an amazing artist (see? self obsorbedness and if that wasn't enough there's more, lot's more! nu-uh). So, anyway, Rebecca's coffin shows up being carried by her followeres (what followers? are they invisible cause i've never seen them? they are there!!! you are one too...no, i'm not) and a sudden chillruns through the guest(those that are there, but don't worry i'll add more than she put)- Max and her gangs' feathers freezeup (for those who don't know: Maximum Ride): Green day, Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, and Linkin Park and Matchbox Twenty, Fall Out Boy, Blue Octouber, NickleBack, and Santana (ooh, ♥ them, good additions, course they are, cause they're mine no they r all mine!!) have to stop singing/playing; Orlando Bloom starts crying, just like the guy who plays Mike Newton(hottie...yup), and the guy who plays Eragon, and many others; the Cullen family becomes silent, even Alice stops her dance like movements; but then all Rebecca's imaginary (nu-uh) lovers- Fishy, Glen, Edward Cullen, and more fling themselves over the coffin, praying their dead crush will come back (too many comments here to write, and since it's rebecca's funeral i don't want to ruin it. at least all of it >.< Funeral Ruiner! i am not! it's just yours). Edward, so detraught (such a big word, with such big lies nu-uh!) by Rebecca's loss, grabs th coffin and carries it to its resting place by himself, then rejoins his solemn family. Then everyone takes their seats in the ornately decorated chairs that have been laid out. Then it begins to snow due to Rebecca's depressing life. People/random fictional charecters shiver, but are happier- no, more comforted because Rebecca loved the snow so they are to be related(i think that's the right word, i can't read her hand writing Reunited, well it was close) with part of her spirit, except Kristin who is complaining that it's cold and she had to dress up for the funeral forcibly. Kristin then stands up and approaches the lecturn that is also adorn with skulls (i wonder who did that? hehe...).


"Honored guests and random charecters, and distigushed friends of Rebecca," she begins, "We are here to mourn the passingof Rebecca Sandlin, my best friend(i don't say friend, i say buddy what ever) ever!" Kristin cannot continue, she is too depressed (cause, it's so easy to picture me depressed yup, you would be if i DIED!!!). She runs back to her seat, crying (i'm what now?). Fishy stands up to finish, tear stains are also evedint on his face. No one can contain their sadness. "Rebecca was a dear friend of mine," he says, "and i cannot believe I was so stupid! I never realized how much I meant to her and she to me, and now it's...too late!" The whole audiance collapses into a symphony of tears (really? even me, cause i'm normally good about holding in all sadness. you are torn under the surface, i am?). "Anyway..." he continues but chokes momentarilly. He then recovers and keeps speaking, "I have here Rebecca's final will (hey, i wanted to be the one to read the will and totally mess it up so i get everything!) and testimony it is as follows: My beloved friends, if you are reading this then i am dead (ah, Rebecca's dead, i didn't know!!!!!! >:O O.o). to Amanda (hyper Amanda) I leave my brain, terrorize it nicely." Amanda all of a sudden shrieked, "Yes! Now I can torture her in the afterlife!" This comment enraiged Edward who promtly leapt up and sucked Amanda's blood. (cause it's so easy to seem him doing this)



"Ew, she was sour," he said, as he returned to his seat. The funeral groupwas astounded at first but quieted down as Fishy started to read again: "To Kristin, I leave all my books. (in the background Kristin mumbles about how she was expecting more) To Chelsi I leave my sketchbooks and my pictures to a famous meuseam (cause they would jump all over the chance to have her works of art). To Maggie I leave you my guitar (and from somewhere in the place Maggie screams "I love you Rebecca!"), and to Scott I leave a strongly worded letter about the horrors of eating meat (yeah i don't get a letter for eating meat!). To James I leave another letter on the cruelness of killing, especially killing shrimp(she seems hung up on the fact that he feed her shrimp, so immature. i'm still mad at him for stealing my cookie). To Zach I leave a...I don't know(haha she finally addmits she doesn't know something!!!), Zach can choose something cause he's not special enough to get something designated(then why bring him up?). I also leave Kristin a blow tourch to burn Scott's shirt that reads "Animals are tasty". ("Yeah!!! I get a blow tourch!!" i can burn more than the shirt right????!!!!!) I leave the files of my books to Rachel along with my stuff animals and collection of playmobile and streech pennies. I leave my clothes to Rome, along with my mall/starbucks gift cards. To Edward, Fishy, Glen, and Logan (and the rest of my lovers, cause there are just so many) I leave the rest of my stuff and my love, which isn't anything anymore since I'm dead. (Anything left can be fought for) Thank you, Rebecca." Cameron finished reading(was he reading this at the begining, oh wait fishy=cameron). It was sielent, when all of the sudden Iggy threw himself into a pond and drowned(how would he know where a pond was? he's blind). The audiance was shoked, and then Edward spoke: "I read his mind before he went...he was to sad without rebecca." Then the rest of the audiance jumped off a cliff to be with Rebecca's dead soul (i wouldn't do that). All, that is, except for Kristin because she knew she had a duty to post Rebecca's funeral for those who could not be there. (ha i didn't jump. and i haven't posted because i've been working on this!!)

The end. Written by Rebecca's phantom(ghostie) and posted by Kristin with edits from Kristin, and Rebecca's edits to those edits, and Kristin's edits to Rebecca's edits to Kristin's edits to the original piece(you see why this took me a while?)

A note from the author: Some off this was added for dramatic purposes(really, people wouldn't do that for you in real life, i'm shocked!!), not really, but I'm saying this so the guys mentioned have no basis to say I ♥ them (except for this note). I also leave an apology to anyone forgotten in my will.

P.S. Issac, Joe, Alex, I will miss you all! But never fear, for my phantom(ghostie!!!) will continue to post. To you I leave a few things:
1st of all, to Issac, I leave an understanding and inner connectiopn,which is only important if you care to think of it as such. And my vegetarian stuff(if I had any...you don't? define vegitarian stuff. stop adding stuff it's annoying!!!! and why would i know what vegitarian stuff is?).
2nd, to Joe I leave hope for you and Lucky
and 3rd, to Alex, I leave the will to post cause you don't enough!!!
To all of you I leave my love(but Issac I ♥ you most). XD
♥, Rebecca's phantom(ghostie!!)

Hahahaha, i'm finished!!!!!!!!!!