Books hold more than words, they carry memories

So right now I have either sinuses or allergies, neither really a big, but still a major pain. Last time I had allergies my doctor wanted to take all my book out of my room. I promptly told her she was insane if she thought I could ever do such a horrid thing.

So I didn't think I would have anything to post, but I actually do. But I think I'm gonna save the drama for later and talk about silly things first, when I say silly I mean stupid side stuff that makes me smile when I think back on it or stuff that really just isn't that important.

Let's see, in my world religions class we are doing skits (or movies, if you chose to do so) and one person said that their skit would be the Monty Python version of the story because none of us are actors and all that. But as soon as she says that my teacher stare at me as if accusing me for curropting everyone's minds with Monty Python. Now I'm not denying that, but still the accusation was uncalled for.

I have no more state tests for the rest of my life!!!!

Hmmm, I can't think of more small stuff so I guess, I'll just dive into the drama.

Right, so Saturday night my step-dad, Mike, decided he was gonna go to some intervention detox thing for him being an alchoolic, which he is, I would know. Anyways, we were all proud of him and all cause it was a big step. But yesterday when he picked me up as I was walking home he told me he was gonna wait untill summer so that while he was missing work at least we didn't have to worry about daycare for my other two sisters. I got that, but majorly he was putting it off and that the more he put it off the harder it was going to be later. Yesterday was one of my sister's birthday and of course Mike suddenly goes on about wanting to go then. So after opening presents and sharing cake with the neighborhood kids, he draws out going untill around ten. So while they left, my mom taking Mike, I got the two girls down and fell asleep myself. My mom got home, I moved to my bed, heard the phone ring a couple of times, couldn't get up, and later heard Mike back home because the place wouldn't allow him to have his own room, with the ties that were in his pants, and the sheets they had were apparently itchy and he has sensitive skin.

Right, so I feel extremely bad for my sister. But I'm kinda mad at Mike because I know that it's only gonna be harder for him to commit to such a thing and all that.


So, not sure about all that, but I think I'll get through all this. I'm only here for another year plus some months.

So I think it sounds funny, but I’d like to hear what you have to say

Rain fell all over the big city, light drops of water that could not disturb the sleepless. It was the kind of rain that you could easily dance through if you were in the mood to. Vivian was in that mood. She stepped out of the theater, buttoning up her dark brown over coat and pulling her hair up so that it all stayed under her fedora. Each one of her movements was a small step in some grand dance that could only take place here and now and never again.

Yet a thunder clap disrupted the ceremony and brought down thick sheets of rain, the kind of rain that no matter what mood you had you began to feel depressed because everything was being washed away. The rain soaked Vivian began to run to some shelter, anything that would protect her from the water that was attacking. Finally she could stand peacefully under some ledge, soaked but still happy to be alive while she waited the rain out.

Cars zoomed past Vivian, as if her presence was completely erased, that was until one small black card pulled over to the curb and stopped in front of her. Out of the car stepped Daniel Zardoni, cigarette in one hand and a large black umbrella in the other. While Vivian was completely unaware of who Daniel was, the rest of the world knew.

Daniel stopped before Vivian, putting his cigarette back in his mouth and holding out a hand for Vivian to shake. Vivian’s face was painted with suspicious confusion, her forest green eyes looking over Daniel as if he gave off an air of supremacy, which he did.

“Hello my good lady, I’m sorry to have surprised you, but you seemed trapped within this curtain of rain. I am Daniel Zardoni and you, you must be my wife.” Daniel kept his hand out, open so that Vivian could easily reach out to him, a rare opportunity. But Vivian had been offended by Daniel’s outrageous prediction of her being his wife.

“I’m sorry sir, but I’m not quite so sure if I should be escorted by a guy like you.” Vivian turned her head, so that she could not as easily look over Daniel, though that is what she desired to do. Daniel was taller than her, but not so much so that you could describe him as ‘towering’ over her. He had well kept black hair and grey eyes that were full of confidence rather than dejection from Vivian’s words.

“C’mon, babe, we both know you don’t wanna be stuck in this rain. The man on the radio just said that this downpour was going to last awhile, and I hate for such a pretty young lady like you to catch a cold from standing out in all this rain.” Vivian was compelled by Daniel’s words, and while she had no intention of ever becoming interested in him romantically, she took his opened hand and allowed him to lead her to his car.

Vivian and Daniel sat in the back seat of the car, each sitting against a window, leaving the middle a blank empty space between them. The front two seats were occupied by two fellas that were dressed similarly to Daniel, suit, tie, and fedora. The one driving, Benji, was skinny and tall with brown hair and blue eyes that were focused on the road. The other one up front, Sammy, was well built and had true a Italian complexion, and was eyeing Vivian from the rearview mirror.

“Don, why’d you go and pick this chick up?” It was Sammy who had spoken, but not until they had pulled away from the curb and were emerged in the normal traffic. Daniel looked back over to Vivian with a smile, but his eyes were looking over her, examining the likelihood that she was out to kill him like so many others.

“Just listen to me, Sammy. You think I’m some kind of idiot who falls for any chick with a good set of legs?” With Daniel’s eyes still on her Vivian turned away, not wanting him to see her checks brighten and pulled down her red dress so that it may cover more of her legs.

“I certainly hope not, else you’ll be sleepin’ with the fishes rather than dictating where they lay.” Sammy was some sort of pessimist, the kind that just stated what was a bad idea and made a small side comment on it, but never intervened any more than that.

“Ignore him babe. He’s just sore ‘cause there’s something on TV that he wants to watch. Now you tell Benji here where you want to go and we’ll get you there, no problem.” Daniel patted Benji’s seat, trying to get Vivian to look back over to him. Vivian simply looked up to the review mirror, so that she could address Benji rather than the presumptuous man next to her.

“If you would be so kind, I would appreciate it if you could drop me off at the cafeteria of New York University.”

“So you’re a student at NYU? What are you studying?” Vivian turned to Daniel, since it would have been extremely rude of her to speak to him while facing the opposite way.

“I am not particularly studying anything. I plan on being an actress, in fact I just came from an audition for a new play on Broadway.”

I waited and waited for u to sit beside me, but u were behind me the whole time

I feel like I should have some kind of introduction before I go on rambling again, but have got no clue what I mean by that. *shrugs* oh well, it's not like anyone will care if I jump right into things anyways, who's gonna stop me?

So lets see, the guy I was talking about in the last post, for name's sake we'll call him my GerMan, cause he is a Geman exchange student after all (note this makes me liking him even more helpless because all the exchange students are leaving this year). Anyways I saw him at my one SOL, and he came in late and sat in the way back. T.T But maybe he will be in my last SOL or maybe fate will intervene and put us together, otherwise I suppose it's not meant to be.

My SAT scores sorta depressed me, I mean it was my first try and all but still, I really don't wanna have to take them again. Right now as far as colleges go, I'm only really thinking of three specific ones. CNU, which is real close to home and has an amazing atmosphere (plus a Chick-Fil-A on campus), MMC, a place in NY, NY and at least looks cool and has this amazing writting center, and the last one is SWU which is in Texas but has everything I want and this cool program where they have a bunch of bikes on campus and you can use any of them on campus to go anywhere.

Nothing else going on, got inducted into Latin honor society, and it was at the same place as al the other language honor socities, and I was sorta angry that I had never been invited to Japanese or Spanish honor society. But Latin's way cooler anyways, we have a whole Monty Python movie to reference.

Speaking of Monty Python, there are these cards that you can buy called Fluxx and they've got a Monty Python themed version that I wanna get. I'm still trying to convince my mom to order it for me off of Amazon.

Seeing as I've been going through a major Mafia phase, I have to written something along those lines, I spent on whole Math class writting quotes from the store I'm planning on writting all over my Math ws. So instead of that other story, I'm gonna post this story, mainly because I can't write anymore for the other one, named Fated (I think). The reason I can't write is because Apollo has left my blessing and the Godfather has taken over. What I write completely depends on what influence I'm under, which is a major problem because my influence always changes and I can never finish something.

Ummm, I think that's it for now. TTFN (and yes I am quoting Winne the Pooh)

breathe in and hope for the best, i'd pray but i'm not sure i can

so its testing week at school and all.
I'm pretty excited, truth be told. But seeing as that's somewhat out of character I figure I might as well explain.

So when I had my ring ceremony there was this guy I had never seen before sitting between me and Ashley. Yeah, enough said, I dragged him into out convorsation because he was cute and all but he humored me and it was nice. Anways, I had hoped to see him at the dance, but didn't. Later I added him as a friend of FB, but I also learned he was an exchange student from Germany, so I had pretty much given up, and figured it wasn't fate for us to be together and all that jazz.
However, for our testing we're organized by last name, so me and him will be in at least one testing area together. So I'm majorly hoping that we can sit next to each other and talk again and maybe play cards if they let us.

Please tell me if I sound foolish


Anyways other than that, I've been going through a major mob/mafia phase, and just watched the first Godfather. Loved it! Though I've always liked movies like that.

I was in the news Friday for being part of a prom that we held for the disabled people in our area. It was sooooooooo much fun and my feet are still sore. Our theme was Hollywood, so I dressed up in a red dress and my hat (that looks sorta like Sinatra's) and had the bright red lipstick and candy ciggarets. My idea was to look like the chick that swept into the PI's office askin' for help, when in truth she's completely involved in all the underground stuff.
Nice, huh?

Got chastised for not being able to cuss today, but it was funny, cause the more I refused the more Tolsten cussed, plus he was getting all rilled up with the game that we were playing today in the caf. since none of us had test and couldn't get another ride. Anyways the game was very interesting, there was marriage, divorce, insects, gay insect, sandwich, and doubles. O.o


In English we are now reading A Catcher in the Rye and I am absolutely in love with it!!! There is one part where Holden talks about how you can read a book and feel like you're friends with the author and you could just talk to them on the phone like old friends, but of course Salinger(sp?) just recently died and all and I got a little depressed, but not enough to quite reading. I love the writing style, it's real random but it's not uncomprehensiblely so.


So I just got done reading this burn book thing for my school and the only thing that I learned was that my school is full of people that the whole school is full of phonies and people who are just above it all. I mean every other post/comment thing was about how immature the person who made the website was, except no one said it real nicely. But I mean, they still read it, ie I'm no better for reading. So there are some good people that somewhat indulge themselves in the drama, but know good and well when it goes to far and then there are the ppl that push it, which is absolutely rediculous.

anyways, i'm gonna try to post regularly, see ya

my world religions class never learns anything, so i might as well post

so i was reading some old writtings and got nostaligia.

i had been having writers block on the story i had posted, but the block is gone now and i can continue writting. i figured out that i only get in the right mood to write it after having learned more about the gods and godesses in latin class.

anyways as far as life goes nothing major has really happened. i had gotten my liscense in november and i finally drove by myself for the first time a week or so ago. now i'm driving to school and having my mom just get out and change seats when i drop myself off. fun, huh?

so i've been getting worried about the senior project i have to do next year. but fortunately i dont have to come up with something cause mr.d has decided that i will be doing 5 blood drives next year ...
not too thrilled but considering its not that hard i might as well, i mean all we did at the blood drive yesterday was make forts out of the water bottles and cups. well mr.d used the water bottles, but my cup fort was waaaaaay better than his.

well class is over, see ya. i might post the rest of the story when i write it and type it up.

in english class

google has clingon as a language, nice

my teacher said it was a good thing that we can't speak it.

talkin' about how pale i am and its comparison to me being stuck in my room.

half the class is gone on a field trip so its nice and loud.

the attack of the zerossssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i only got one c on my report

i'm in a pretty good mood, maybe cause its friday

gonna go to the library saturday and hopefully met up with mi tia and then walk to the bookstore to sell mmy books and kill my soul, then sunday we're gonna go to her church and then to see clash of the titans and eat then go to barns and noble, what fun!!!

have word now, but still feel like posting this, comments, please?

The sands ran coolly over my feet, the desert ground lighted only by the moon and moved only by the soft wind. I reached the marble steps of a long forgotten temple, worn away by the sands of time, resting hidden among the cool desert night. The stars shined down upon the temple sadly, as if empathizing with the forgotten.

Within the temple, centered perfectly, was a tall statue of an elegantly etched woman reaching up to the sky. Her finger tips nearly reached the painted stars that scattered all over the ceiling. Her feathered wings were widely out stretched and seemed to be poised to take flight, yet remained restrained by mere will power. At her feet lay a small pond dust ridden water, tainted by the year uncared for.

The woman’s face was soft and gentle, her eyes staring desperately to the endless drawn night. Tears were held aloft in the corner of her eyes despite the fact that they were not etched. Her long, toga-like dress fell loosely over her, framing her every curve with a delicate touch. The toga was similar to that of the mortals’, but the back hung low so that the wings could fly freely from behind. The only other difference was the color, though the white marble was not painted to show this.

Engraved on the wall that held the pond was the story of the woman who was to forever stand within the temple. The smooth, yet dust covered letters read: “Navanya is the Mother Goddess. Goddess of and for the People. Goddess of the Wind. Wife of Xenonva and Mother of Vestria. Navanya is the pure sprit of a mother, who stayed with her child, Goddess of the Seas, even at the cost of losing place by her husband, King of the Sky and all Gods.”

I let the words role off my tongue as I read them aloud to the silent room. I kneeled down so that I was eye level with Navanya’s feet and bowed with eyes closed. I said my thanks for all Navanya had done in my life, for her constant presence. I looked up lightly and reached over to dip my hand into the pond and brought it back to my head, letting the water cool my face. The water was rough and sticky but it was my responsibility to show my respect for Navanya.

As I stood I finally peeled my eyes away from the statue to take heed of the rest of the temple. Wandering around the room, I swiped off the dust that had collected on my teal toga, noticing the mosaic beneath my feet. The mosaic was as big as the room and depicted waves and the wind being controlled by the skies. The columns that marked the entrance were as ornate as the rest of the building, everything swirled as if the wind had been frozen in stone. Torches lined the walls and columns but had burned out long ago.

Slowly I walked around in a circle, gently waving my hand over each torch to summon up the fire I had no control over. As soon as a spark appeared I quickly said my thanks to the God of the Sun for allowing me to summon his power for my own use. Finally the temple was completely lit and I could see the light blues and whites that colored everything, adding a soft, wind-like air to the place. Though it was abandoned and dusty, it was easy to picture the temple alive and full of people who were there for the simple act of being there.

“So this is where You run away to.” The voice echoed through the marble stone, warming the whole temple with its strong, self imposed power. The voice was as recognizable as the light of the sun, either there within sight or hiding on the other side of the world.

I turned back slowly so that I could face the temple opening, praying that the one now there would not take heed of how invading his presence made me feel. He was leaning against a column, the desert night painted behind him like a back-drop. The toga he wore was the same as Navanya’s, but it was dyed a rich, warm gold that shined brightly against the seemingly dull colors of everything around him. His eyes were a dull gold that shined out from his softly etched features that were framed by his rich blonde hair that was loosely tied back. Behind him, his out stretched wings gently folded in as he stepped forward.

“What are You doing here?” I asked grudgingly, holding my breath as I waited for his answer. Ignoring me, he went up to Navanya and carried out the same procedures as I had only minutes ago. While I waited for him to finish his prayers, I moved back over to stand by him, bowing my head once more to Navanya.

“You see, I heard all Your prayers of thanks and decided to come and see what was happening.” He stood, facing me with a certain deliberant attitude that all Gods had about them. My eyes slowly drifted to the torches that I had lit with the power of the Sun God, the power of the God now in front of me.

“Avo, You and I both know that hear every prayer said in your name.” I knew very well that stating this fact would get me nowhere, but I wanted to try to get him to state his purpose clearly. In truth, I shouldn’t have said my thanks if I wanted to be sure of no discovery, as I Goddess I had permission to tap into any other Gods domain without previous consent. However Mother always taught me to say my thanks, because Gods tended to have conditions for afterward.

“I can hear anything under the Sun as long as I chose.” Avo looked over me gently and started to move towards me. As he stepped closer I stepped back, running into the cool marble wall behind me. Avo looked away, trying to hide his sad smile and the dimmed sun that always remained within his eyes.

“I suppose this is the only temple that shows Your Mother as She really was.” His eyes left me for a few seconds to gaze around the temple, but soon rested back on me. Avo held out his arms so that I may take comfort, though I had already overtly turned away from him.

All my life Avo had been by my side, a light the lit all my darkened days. It was too natural for me to fall back in his arms, like how leaves fell to the wind. Despite my stubborn self, I’d always allow my guard to crumble at the warmth of his Sun. No matter what, he was the only person in my life I was sure of, the only one I could care to trust.

“I’m sure You miss Your Mother more than anyone could possibly imagine. You and Your Mother were close and that could never be replaced, especially within only three years. No one really expects You to just forget about Her.” Avo whispered his sweet magical words in my ear as he slowly patted my feathered wings. Shaking my head clear of his words, I pushed myself away so that I could face him equally.

“Avo, the other Gods are not quite as accepting as You are. They expected me to be over this within seconds of it happening; even the mortals only allow a year or so to mourn. There are no exceptions, even for a Goddess.” Though my voice remained even, I was breaking apart inside. As a Goddess I was supposed to be a figure of pure omniscient force, feared by all mortals who walked these lands. However my constant mourning ruined my imagine of invincibility.

“Technically I am still in mourning as well. Not even Fate can control other’s emotions.” Avo’s smile was soft and sweet as he held up the tip of his toga, which was dyed a deep black to represent mourning. I looked back down to where my own turquoise toga fell to the floor, the tip stained black as my trust.

“Right, if Fate really controlled everything Mother would not have suffered as She had. Although if Fate had no control I would at least hope Father would have taken some kind of action.” My voice was bitter and mistrusting as the words of hate flew from my mouth with no disregard. Fate had been behind the misfortune of Mother, but it was Father who had let it happen, which was just as unforgivable.

“I suppose my words are pointless if they fall on corrupted ears. But let me ask one thing, since You seem to be too stubborn to change course. Tell Navanya that I send my best wishes, for You are surely chasing after Her, even to Your own death.” His eyes held a pity greater than I had ever met with. I could no longer distinguish whether other’s pity was false or if Avo was simply the only one who had completely grasped my situation. Either way his words were harsh and stung at my already bleeding heart.

Avo turned back to Navanya and respectfully bowed before disappearing back into the night. Once he was gone from sight, so was the warmth he had carried with him. Now the air was as chilly as the cold stones that surrounded me.

With slow, heavy steps I made my way to the filth ridden pound at Mother’s feet. I kneeled down, tracing the inscriptions and my name over and over hoping that the writing would prove false. But no matter what I was always going to be Vetstria, Goddess of the Seas, Daughter of Navanya and Xenonva. I was always the child who held onto her mother’s feet, so that she could not stay where she belonged.

I laid my head against the cold stone, letting my light brown hair that seemed to have a clear taint of blue, fall into the tainted water, sending out small ripples. As the ripples spread through the pond, they glowed and purified the water so that the marble bottom was visible. I felt obligated to thank someone, but that would have been as pointless as Avo coming to comfort me.

blargh and meh

so i've got to finish an outline that was due friday, a ppt in spanish that was also (supposedly) due friday, and a video thats due tuesday that i have to make now cause my partner JUST emailed me his half, and i'd like to point out that he didnt even d all that was asked of him, but lucki;y for him i want an a to boost up the fact that i always get Cs on the test.


so thurday i spent most of my time in the nurse. i was fine first block and second block my contacts were giving me a headache and i started to get the chills and the sub slept all through class, almost. so second block i spit up in the trash can, went to the nurse, figured they couldnt do anything but give me crakers and water. so i went back to class, got sick again and my teacher called the nurse, who came down to get me with a wheel chair ... O.o


luckily the people in my class are cool and were worried about me, so there was no embarasment added, i was more worried about being wheeled down to the nurses office. so i was there from 11-ish to 1 and still feel kinda icky


i should be working or studying for my sols tuesday and wendsday, but i cant work anymore

Shawn Spencer

watchin my third season set of pysch and shawn just made a great gatsby refrence and I was craking up. i love it when tv shows reference old books that i've enjoyed.

we're readin a leason before dying, which is bringin back my slight cuntry accent, which is kinda amusing cause i'll be readin in class and some one interupts me from readin and when i'm talking to them they can barely understand what i'm saying. well it's not that surprising 'cause i learned how to talk in GA

i'm comtemplating sueing the school for when i feel and slipped under the seats in the bus, twisting my ankle around the leg of the seat infront of me. but it might be too late since this happened thurday

Butterfly by Jason Mraz

Was gonna do the likes and dislikes thinkg, but wasn't feeling it.

The title song is playing and I think it is the most beautiful song about sex every, cause if you actually listen to it it really is sensual and Mraz's voice just flows perfectly.

I'm takin the moment imaginin that I'm dancin with you,
I'm your pole and all your wearing is your shoes,
You got sould, you know just what to do to turn me on,
Untill I write a song about you.


Anyways, I'm finally in World Religions, and I prefer to sit back and let my opinions fester than argue with the people in my class. We haven't really gone over any religion yet but the concepts of religion itself, which is more interesting than anything else. Despite the fact that I have been baptized and undergone all the Christian traditions and still take part of it, I think I am more agnostic than anything else, but I'd probably never tell my dad that.


I get more annoyed at myself as I become embraced with the 'popular crowd'. It's not like the stereotype, but it's as close to what my school comes to. I get sick when anyone talks about some one badly, because its rarely ever justified. It's completely pointless and annoying, and the fact that I'll listen to it is even more stupid, I'd rather go back to being a wall flower than having a repeat of what happened at my old school, but that won't happen cause the types of popluarity is completely diffrent, at my old school there was intent, here there is just talking. Which is annoying to cause when people say it and act nice to another person when they don't want to they might as well be talking behind their back.

That one little paragraph had nothing to do with anything really. I need to be working on my study guide but I've got till Wednseday.

There is no House on tonight, at least no new episodes.

I've learned that I could never be a Taoist, because despite the fact that I barely ever take initiative with things, I do at sometimes, which goes against the way of the Tao. But the other priciples I follow just as much as I follow Chritianity.


I have heard nothing from Chick-Fil-A about a second interview and I'm just about to give up, but I really do want to work there and would hate to get another job making me unable to accept their offer.

My mom continues to try to marry me off, this time to an olypic skater, whose name I no longer remember. She wants me to email him and ask him to ring dance my response was '..., wouldn't he be training after this?'


I went to this thing called Latin Day at some college, and other than seeing a cute college guy, I saw that they had a Chick-Fil-A in the student union. Though I'd love to go there, I'm a bit conflicted because I wanna leave VA so much. I'd love to live in NY cause I am appealed to the big city, but I wouldn't survive the cold or the fact there is only one Chick-Fil-A in NY. Plus my step-mom is moving up to NY too.


I hate contradictions, but I practically am one. I fit my self to the people around me without changing who I really am. Basically I inhance some features when I'm around cearten people, which makes me just as bad as people who aren't true to themselves.