Apologies

Sorry sorry sorry.
Sorry I'm not perfect.
Sorry I fail every now and then.
Sorry I'm such an obvious pain to all you.
Sorry I've gotten lazy.
Sorry I cost so much.
Sorry that I don't talk to my father so that you can get money from him.
Sorry I want to have a life outside of school and this house.
Sorry I get hurt so much.
Sorry I screwed up all my grades.
Sorry you've got to take all this time to care for me.
Sorry you're spending all this money for me.
Sorry I got into a good school that cost a lot.
Sorry I only got a little over half my tuition in loans and grants.
Sorry I can't control how things go
Just sorry sorry sorry.

But can't you say sorry.
Say sorry for turning my failure into just another example for her.
Say sorry for not understanding that I've had my plate full all four years and the only problem is now.
Say sorry for not caring when everything was fine.
Say sorry that you made me this way.
Say sorry that it doesn't matter to you.
Say sorry for putting all the stress on me.
Say sorry for not stopping me from running head first into this mess.
Say sorry for yelling and looking down at me.
Say sorry that it's not going to change.

And then there's another you...
Sorry I've sorta kinda fallen for you (but let's face facts I'm head over heels in love).
Sorry I seem kinda clingy when I want to talk to you every day.
Sorry I got use to our night;y conversations.
Sorry you think I'm so smart, when I'm just pretty average.
Sorry the one time we could meet I was busy.
Sorry for thinking about you all the time.
Sorry for asking all those stupid questions about you (I really just want to get to know you).
Sorry that my response don't make sense.
Sorry I don't know better.
Sorry I don't know when to go to bed (I only realized the next morning that I didn't make any sense).
Sorry I keep going off on tangents.
Sorry for getting the wrong idea.

But couldn't you...
Say sorry you broke your phone so we can't talk.
Say sorry you're working all the time.
Say sorry you have a life that doesn't involve me.
Say sorry you've made me fall for you.
Say sorry you keep coming up in my dreams.
Say sorry you won't get out of my head.
Say sorry that your birthday is right after my graduation and that I won't be able to see you.
Say sorry that we haven't met yet.
But you've either already said that or I would never ask you to say sorry for that.



Sorry I just needed to get all that whining out or it'd cloud my head forever. But better being whinny on here than really act like that.

I Found This Quote and Thought I'd Share

"Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag.She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.

She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.

Buy her another cup of coffee.

Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.

She has to give it a shot somehow.

Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.

Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.

Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilightseries.

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes."

I Was Told to Come Up With A Good Story For How I Hurt Myself, Other Than the Truth

"Kristin, what happened to your leg?" yet another person asks as I hobble slowly down the hallway. I stop with a sigh and turn to the person, ready to revel, once again, the tale of how my leg ended up in the Astro Boot.

"You see, what happened was:

I was walking home and decided to stop in the closest 7-11. More like I had to pee so badly that it was either stop at 7-11 or pee my pants, so I chose the former. Anyways, this 7-11 has the stupid rule that only customers can use the restroom, so I quickly grab a pack of donuts from the counter and waited in line, quite aware that I was bouncing up and down in place, trying to hold my pee in.
"Next!" the cashier said motioning to me. I rushed up and placed the donuts on the counter. As she scanned it, I pulled out my wallet and began counting the cash I had to spend. The cashier popped a bubble and counted my money slowly. I tapped my foot, burning off the energy I otherwise would have used to yell at the lady, praying she would notice and speed up. Unfortunately she didn't have the chance to notice.
"Empty the cashier into this bag or the girl gets it!" someone yelled as they put their hands over my mouth and a gun to my head. The bag was handed over and the cashier began to frantically stuff the cash into it. At this point I was freaked and still really had to go to the bathroom, like super bad. So I kicked the guy where it counts and as he crouched in pain I pushed him back towards the ground and ran. The stupid thing was that I was still focused on going to the bathroom, so I was running there rather than to the door. But the guy grabbed my leg and I fell flat to my face. Fortunately there was some guy hiding in the back and was calling the police, so they bust in the door just in time to see me fall. So once they got the guys arrested, I finally got to go to the bathroom, however I limped my way there.

And that is how I hurt my leg."

"Is that seriously what happened?" the person asked, gasping as I spun my tale.

"No you idiot, I hurt my foot bowling," I said, my words full of venom.

"So what's the real story..."

I'm on Vicodin, So Don't Worry if this Doesn't Make Sense

I am an ultra clutz, so big a clutz that I tore my ligament bowling. I ride the elevator in school and believe it stinks. I call my walking boot my astro boot and I am currently looking for flame stickers to put on it ('cause I'm taking vicodin like House use to and he had that cane with flames). I am currently working on my senior project to write a book, and when I say currently I mean I'm steadily working on it now. I have found a way to publish for free. I don't think I get particularily loopy off vicodin. I don't like having to sit through a lecture about how my education is my responability and how the whole class has droped their grades when I got an A on the class. I love how I get more work done for my Connections class outside of class rather than inside. I miss the stereotype of passing notes in school. I almost want to go to a private school for the uniform. I'm a sucker for romance. I love the look on people's face when I say I hurt my leg bowling. I like to play with my hair all the time, and currently want to change it somehow. I cried for my schools golden boys because their mom just recently died of breast cancer, and even though I only know the guys a little, my heart goes out to them. I don't think American Idol contestants should sing The Beatles. It's amazing how tainted a story can be based on who's telling it. I think I'm running out of things to say in this style.

Can I Have Your Autograph, Cause You're Amazing To Me

I like listening to music videos in the morning. I hate being a girl sometimes (but I guess guys really wouldn't understand). I have this teacher that is awfully sarcastic, and I don't think I could seriously hate his class. I am a romantic. I can be really childish at times. I have signed a couple of autographs, and it made me feel extremely special. I figured out why I am going to hire a private eye, to find Steve Burns. I believe little things can make a difference. Peter Pan was in my dream last night, God know why. I don't like wearing my glasses a lot. I love taking good care of my hair, but most of the time I just leave it up in a pony tale. I like to draw/doodle, but there's a reason my stuff is all "abstract". I can't stand Taylor Swift, partly because my ex always talked about her. I have respect for Mike Posner. My library fine is up to $72, needless to say it's not getting paid. One of my biggest disappointments was not being able to go see Monty Python's Spamalot when it was in town after being told my dad would buy tickets. I can't watch anything if I've missed the first few minutes, unless it's something I've seen before. Now that my cell phone has a full keyboard, I feel the need to spell everything out in a text. I like to know thins about the world, especially about the culture changes. I have had a small crush that comes and goes since freshman year, but I give up each time 'cause I know it won't work. I give up too easily, for example, this post.

Guilt Can Hit Like Hail

I love screaming "Don't do it!" in horror movies, even though I know it won't make a difference. I sometimes can't believe how bad a procrastinator I am. I'm really excited for all night bowling, whic is also on my half birthday. I met dj Saturday and have talked to him the past couple of days. I own 184 books, but I think I might have miscounted. I started watching a movie just because Frank Sinatra was in it. I have an unhealthy obsession with the mafia. I think that when some one says "be your self" you really just put up you're gaurd. Even if I had a car, I think I'd miss riding the bus. I hate when my ears and nose are cold. I think I could win "Don't Forget the Lyrics". I am actually looking forward to Febuary. I think I loose my train of thought to easily. My teeth are unusually sharp. My sister left her juice in my room. My toys are often stolen by my siblings. I want to hire a private eye for something complettely ridiculous. I IMDB almost everything I watch. I hate running out of things to say. I have the idea that I could be a radio dj, I just don't know if I have the voice. I can say a million words, but that wouldn't be enough to tell who I am.

I'm Watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail, for the Second Time Today

I wrote a 15 page paper in under three days. When I'm stressed I watch the title movie. I have completely given up on my Latin class. Water is sacred, but I'm sick and tired of it now. I have a two empty halves of a coconut and I bang them together. I currently need to write an article for the paper due Friday. I fell in love with a local guitarist Saturday. I will force all my children to watch The Black-Hole, a Disney movie. I fell asleep during Wall-E, and didn't ever get to any of the Toy Story's. I am addicted to Facebook games. I've always been curious as to who invented spell check. I love my science teacher for openly admitting that the answers are almost always "d. all of the above". During college, my mission is to become a movie buff. I already know who my doormate will be. I was on the phone for 20 some odd minutes trying to get through to a radio station. I'm a total geek and love exam days, I don't have to bring all my books and the days are short. I have my phone on me almost 24/7. I can't wait for graduation, but at some moments I believe it can take its time. I have yet to figure out why my bus driver seems to go the long way. I like arranging our DVDs, but they never stay in order. I have already listened to Panic! At the Disco's new song a million times, and it officially comes out the first. The bear from Toy Story 3 is my phone's background. I will eventually go to Doune castle. I try to read all my English books, but never really do. There have been some acceptions to the previouisly stated. I wrote about Water Wars for 15 pages, and because I was mad at the American school system, I let China win. I got my future husband's autograph. I hate not having blue and green higlighters, but I'm still happy to have a purple one. I love archery. I'm going to Pirates of the Carrabien 4: On Stranger Tides after prom, in my prom dress and all. I calculated how old I was in seconds last week. I geek out for anything Monty Python related. I feel weird when I hear people have talked about me. I have millions of gloves, and not all of them match. Disney classics are amazing, but I'd almost always watch a Pixar movie. I used to play soccer and do ballete and tap. I used to be in chorus. I used to be alot of things, but all that's important is what I am now.
;

I Saw My Future Dorm Room and All I Could Think Was: All My Books Aren't Going to Fit If I Have to Share...

I really liked the style of my other post, so I'm going to try to continue.

I have a 15 page paper due the 24th. I've only really written 4 pages of said paper. I watch Pixar movies almost every day now. I haven't watched Monty Python this year, and that scares me. I can't wait till I weigh enough to give blood. The title of this post is real. I believe the new student teacher in my math class looks like Steve. My classmates have confirmed the previous statement. My journalism class is ordering pizza tomorrow. I'm vice-president of Latin club, we have a meeting tomorrow. I am currently selling tickets to a local concert, 10 a pop. I'm also selling braceletes for a cancer victim. The school newspaper came out for the month, I'm selling for 50 cents. I think that if I got a car, I'd park it at my bus stop so that I could still ride the bus. I have a Snuggie. I have listened to the Beatles and Queen at the same time. Yes it was awesome. I try to be environmentally friendly, but it doesn't work. I really wish my English class could read something with a happy ending. I'm still friends with my exs. I can do almost anything if I have a friend by my side. I never understood fingerless gloves untill some one explained it too me. The abbreviation lol annoys me, but I still use it sometimes. My new campus is filled with cute guys, my mom was the one to point this out. I am going to rent a ZipCar and go to Target. I am rather glad that my dormitory is co-ed, but more glad that the rooms aren't. I love the game Aveyond. If I beat my mom in a game, I get extremely proud of myself. I rather like sappy romance dramas. When I run out of black ink I just print in dark blue or purple. I know I'm on Facebook too much.

I breath 24/7.

Re-Introduction

Dear World (or more like To Whom Ever it May Concern:),

Hello! My name is Kristin Elaine Monteith. A senior at a Global Studies Academy. 17. A Leo, even with the new system. Born August 11th. I'm an only child from one marriage, then a sibling to six others. I have a family of blood then a family of make-believe. I have brown hair and hazel eyes. My height is roughly 5 feet 2 inches and I weigh, at most, 110. I can be kind of spastic, but over all I'm a pretty chill person. I'll listen to almost anything, unless I can't tell the difference between the words and an out of tune instrument. I will read almost any fiction. I try my best to never hurt anyone's feelings, but I know that I have, even without meaning to. I don't curse in general, you could probably count the number of times I've actually cursed on your hands. I love Monty Python and would do almost anything to meet the remaining members. I dream of become the next star, but have come to the realization that it might not happen. I will never let go of my dream of becoming a writer. My back-up plan is to become a therapist. I have already been accepted to my first-choice school. I have chronic senioritis. As far as intelligence goes I'm just averagely above average. I love Pixar movies and have a Buzz and Woody doll to take with me to college. I never really stopped watching Blue's Clues, but I refuse to watch Joe. My bucket list includes being at Times Square for New Year's Eve. Also on my bucket list is to see Steve Burns in concert, or at least track him down and give him a hug. I know that watching Pretty Little Liars is rotting my brain, but I just can't stop. I cannot spell, in any language. I know at least a little of all of the following: English, Math, Spanish, Japanese, and Latin. I've become addicted to StumbleUpon. I started this blog 4 years ago. I have never really been in love, but I'm not worried since I'm still a teenager. I love Harry Potter and have been going to the midnight showings since the 4th at least. I believe I use up all the luck I get for finding four-leaf clovers on finding another four-leaf clover. I have seen all the Twilight movies in theaters, and laughed at each of them. My favorite color is blue and my favorite flowers our blue bells. I tend to spell things in British English. House is my favorite TV show. When I get a song stuck in my head I draw the lyrics out. I prefer to ride trains rather than fly on a plain. One of my absolute favorite pictures is of my class on a field trip when we all went out to the playground at Burger King. I love discovering new music that nobody else knows about, especially when I found it because it was free. I'll take almost anything that is free. I am horrible with my money, but I can take care of anybody else's money. I miss play with play dough. For the most part I am the typical, hormone-raging, teenage girl that loses her train of thought when a hot guy walks by. I feel required to fulfill some high school stereotypes, such as going to prom and homecoming. I believe that there is a yak animal cracker, and have had an argument over it for the past three years. When texting I actually spell stuff out. I drink sweet tea, and that's about it. I hate when underclassmen have cars when I don't. I like being a feminist, but I don't always follow through. I hate Nerf products, they should at least have one girl in the background. I wear contacts, but one of these days I'm going to walk around without them and my glasses to see if I survive. Lava lamps fascinate me. I'm single. I do a whole lot of community service. I've never had a real job. I love kids, but am still not convinced on the whole giving birth thing. I own too many hoodies and jeans. I hate when I run out of things to say. I have a plan to write a Pixar movie, now all I need is an idea. I'm a huge procrastinator. I read manga, almost daily. I love philosophy. I miss how I used to be so connected to the blogger world freshman year. I get along with almost all my teachers, but can't stand the exceptions. I believe 2 + 2 = fish. I still watch 90s cartoons. I know I'll never grow up. And last of all, I am me.

Sincerely,
Kristin

Oh the Weather Outside is Frightful, But the Mail is so Delightful

So we are actually getting snow this year, it's weird. But today is a snow day and I'm already bracing myself for how they're gonna make us make it up. Last year it was an additional 20 minutes to the day.



But anyways snow aside, I got an email yesterday from CNU, my top choice, saying "congradulations again on your acceptance!" My first response was "Again?" But whatever, I got in so I'm ubber excited. My actual letter should come today though.


Um, that's all I got